Attachment Progress

One of the biggest challenges I have faced over the past few months has been the degree to which our little one has clung to me and relied on me for comfort. Sounds like a weird comment, right? What I mean is that I am a fairly independent person and I was not prepared for the fact that someone needing me to be there for them at all times would, at times, feel so overwhelming.

This need has most definitely changed over the past ten weeks. I could probably pinpoint shifts in her attachment and needs on a weekly or bi-weekly basis. In fact, looking back, I can't believe that we have come this far, so quickly. Just like the sleep issues, when you are in it, it feels like it won't ever end. Once it does, you realize just how quickly Maelyn has adjusted to life with our family.

When we first got home, Maelyn would not leave my arms. Getting anything done around the house was nearly impossible. I will always remember the day when she started to play independently, even if it was only for five minutes at a time. I was so proud of her and happy that she was beginning to feel secure in her new home and confident that her Mama and Baba would be able to meet her needs.

Last night was another huge step in the process of Maelyn becoming a secure and independent little creature. I finally went out on my own -- for the first time since Maelyn became a part of our family. I went out shopping for about two hours, while Maelyn stayed at home with Daddy and played the hours away. About an hour into my absence, Auntie Kara and Uncle Cam stopped by for a visit. Together, they all went out for a walk and played. What I couldn't believe was that Maelyn had changed in the short time since I had been away.

All of a sudden, Maelyn was saying 'hello' when holding Auntie Kara's cell phone. She was holding her hands up in question when asked, "Where is.....?" She was looking at pictures of herself on my sister's phone and then pointing to herself and she even started posing for pictures and saying her version of 'cheese!' for the camera. I couldn't believe it -- I only missed two hours of her learning and I ended up coming home to a new child!

Paul and I have been marveling at the changes in Maelyn over the past week. She is turning another corner and becoming much more comfortable with everything. Maelyn is waving at us to come with her and even pats the chair or ground beside her if she wants you to sit with her. She is truly communicating with us and with our family and friends, using sign language and a lot of body language. We are even starting to recognize words that she is attempting to mimic -- made difficult with her open palate. Maelyn continues to astound us everyday and has such an amazing personality.

We have reached a point where Maelyn does not need me all the time -- and ironically, I sometimes find myself missing the little one who clung to her Mama. But only for a second -- as the progress Maelyn has made and the happiness that she exudes every day brings me the greatest joy.

Maelyn and Jake

It's about bloggin' time...

Well, this blogger is finally getting back in the saddle. After eight weeks of being home with our little miss it is time to reclaim my own computer time -- that is, when she is sleeping! That has been one of the most difficult things about being home -- finding time for my own activities. Maelyn loves the computer and wants to play with the keys every time I have the computer out -- so for the most part, the computer stays shut during the day. When she is napping, I am usually scrambling to get things done. When she goes to bed, I have been too tired to even attempt to start returning emails or blog. No longer -- sometimes the dishes will stay in the sink and the floors will keep it's evidence of our last meal...it is time to start blogging again!

The question we get asked the most right now is about how Maelyn is adjusting since returning home from China. The overall response? Maelyn has been doing very, very well -- better than we had ever anticipated. She is an amazing little girl who is extremely resilient and has a fantastic personality. All of that being said and even acknowledging that Maelyn is an easy two year old, it was still hard. Paul and I cannot believe that we have only been home for eight weeks -- it feels like we have been home for a year! The child we brought home is difficult for us to recognize in pictures and in stories -- she has changed that much this summer.

The issue that stands out for most parents is that of sleep -- and it has been a journey for us as well! In China, after a few rocky nights, Maelyn slept quite well. She was then and still is a kid that will fight her sleep with the best of them -- total night hawk. If we allowed her, she would stay up later than Paul and I would! When we came home, changing her sleeping pattern by twelve hours was....interesting. We were so tired and jet-lagged ourselves that it was difficult to put up with the erratic hours that we were keeping while Maelyn was making the transition to our time zone. Looking back, it only took about two weeks before her sleeping become somewhat 'normal.' While we were in it, it felt like it took forever.

At the seminars we attended when we were preparing to adopt, we were told about the night terrors that some of the children experience while their brains are processing all of the changes they have experienced in such a short amount of time. Maelyn is most definitely experiencing night terrors. Normally, our little girl sleeps for about twelve hours -- not too shabby, eh? Unfortunately, her night terrors, which happen a few nights a week, wake us up with pounding hearts. It breaks my heart to hear her screaming, but have realized that she doesn't even wake up when this happens and she gets herself back to sleep within a minute or two.
Last night really warmed my heart. We went through her bedtime routine -- which she knows very well - and hugged her goodnight. It is usually at this point that she would possibly start whimpering and trying her best to be allowed to stay up with us. Last night, however, she hugged us goodnight and she was patting and rubbing our backs, just like we pat and rub her back at night. We said goodnight and our 'I love you's' and she babbled back a response with matching syllables (her version of talking at the moment). Maelyn then waved goodbye to us and went to sleep!

Daily, she brings a smile to our faces and we gaze at her in absolute wonder -- what an amazing little girl.

A few pics to share...

Lookin' cool with Auntie Kara

Enjoying a piece of chocolate cake on our anniversary...

Watching Toy Story with Daddy...

Mini Reunion

At the end of July, Maelyn and I had the chance to get together with a few members of our travel group. I was excited about being able to keep in touch with the group and looked forward to seeing the kids and the progress that everyone had made.

The travel group is most definitely an important group to our family. It means a lot to be able to share such important experiences with those who have been right there through the entire process. Birth parents are able to share birth experiences with most women -- it is the topic of many conversations within my group of friends. For those who have experienced the joys of adoption, to be able to relate to others about experiences working towards and then finally becoming a family is very meaningful.

Leanne with Gabrielle, Jennie, and Maelyn

Big sister, Mia, with Gabrielle...Jennie checking out the new toys

It was also important to be able to share the ups and downs we had all been experiencing since arriving home -- to be able to share common issues and know that perhaps as parents we weren't messing up quite as badly as we had thought we were!

Maelyn and Jennie catching up...

We are looking forward to the end of September when we are hosting a bbq for our entire travel group - sans those who live out east. Unfortunately, it is just a little too far to travel! Paul and I, however, are planning a trip out east next summer to visit family and our travel group family.

“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, 'What! You too? I thought I was the only one”


C.S. Lewis

Maelyn's jie jie's

As a family we are fortunate to have some wonderful people in our lives -- especially Maelyn's God Sister's Bryanna, Cassidy and Julia.

We are especially fortunate that Maelyn's jie jie (big sister), Julia, lives within ten minutes of our home. Having AM and Julia live close by means that we are able to get together easily and quite often. Some of my favourite moments since we have been home has been watching Julia and Maelyn together -- as sisters should be!

When I first looked at this picture, I completely welled up. I find it hard to put into words what it means to me to see the two of them together. I have loved Maelyn's God Sister's for years -- they are very dear to me and I love being a part of their lives. It is my love for them that planted the seed of adoption firmly in my heart. I feel joy at the love they show for Maelyn and couldn't be happier that my girls are an important part of our family. 

Julia and her mei mei (little sister)

I love being able to visit with Anne Marie as well and am grateful for her friendship, parenting advice and the love that she has for our daughter. I don't know what I would have done over the past six weeks without her advice!

AM and Julia have been passing on toys that Julia no longer uses, but are perfect for Maelyn. One big toy that was passed on was Julia's outdoor play set. The play set originally belonged to Julia's older cousin -- but has now made it's way to it's third family and to a very happy child! I can only imagine the emotions AM was experiencing as we disassembled a set that Julia used in her early childhood -- but we were grateful for the love with which it was given.

Maelyn checking out the play set...

Paul and Julia working hard...

Julia keeping Maelyn occupied in the backyard -- showing her how to be 'fashionable'...

Here is the play set fully assembled in it's new home...

Maelyn loves the play set and can't wait for Julia and AM to come over and play!

Catching Up...Part 5

We finally got to visit with my good friend Alana and her youngest, Lincoln. Alana and I have known each other since elementary school -- she is a wonderful friend and we are so lucky to have her in our lives.

Lincoln and Maelyn checking things out...

Giving Alana hugs and kisses...

Our friends Nancy and Heather came over to visit and catch up...

 

They brought Maelyn one of her favourite things -- a book with sound!

Jamie and Maelyn playing together...

Jamie? Where did you go??

Catching Up...Part 4

Maelyn's first experience with PlayDoh -- thanks, Jenn! :)

Hello? Is anybody there?!

Matt, Kelly and family brought Maelyn more clothes and this amazing jeep -- so much fun!!!

Their girls are so sweet and they were wonderful with Maelyn...

 

Eating at our favourite sushi restaurant -- Maelyn LOVES the Edamame beans...

Hmmm....why don't I seem to fit in this stroller??

First (and so far only) attempt at pigtails....too cute!!

Kissing her picture on the computer...

Auntie Kara, Maelyn and Jake

On a playdate with Keri and Bennett...