Flying to China

We knew before we left that our journey to Wannian County would be long. That in order to save money, we had chosen flights that took us all over the place and we get us there, indirectly. We hoped that we would all be able to handle it and that we wouldn't regret our decision.

As it was Christmas Eve when we arrived at the airport in Toronto, we came across Santa Claus, who was handing out candy canes. The girls were thrilled with the treats, but wondered if security would allow them to bring them through to the plane ride. I reassured them that they could load up on them if they wanted to! We had an amazing lunch/dinner at a restaurant in the airport and enjoyed some comfortable downtime before the big journey.

Our flight from Toronto to Ottawa was a short one and we didn't have a long wait for our next flight to Vancouver. The flight to Vancouver, however, felt very long. I think anticipating that it was our 'shorter' flight set us up for feeling that the almost six hours we were in the plane passed way too slowly. When we landed, I was grateful that we had made a last-minute decision to switch hotels -- we were now staying at the hotel right in the airport.

The hotel was close by and absolutely beautiful! The girls loved the room and the view of the airplanes outside our windows. When we got in the room, we saw that the hotel had left a stocking full of treats of us, for Christmas. Once the kids were in bed, Paul and I sat on the floor together, chatted and enjoyed the treats ourselves!

The next morning, being Christmas morning, we decided to treat ourselves and we ordered room service for breakfast. We also knew that we had a long day ahead of us. The girls enjoyed the luxury of it and not having to get dressed and go out to eat. It was yummy!

I was nervous for our flight to Beijing -- being stuck in the airplane for thirteen hours is not my favourite way to travel, but it was necessary. The kids did an amazing job and we all survived. Ailee and Paul slept for a couple of hours, but Maelyn and I did not sleep at all.

Once we landed in Beijing, we were looking forward to checking into the airport hotel and getting a few hours of sleep, as we had a six hour layover before our next flight. Unfortunately, we found out that the hotel had closed down and that there wasn't any other option -- so we had to scour the terminal to find some empty benches. By this point, Ailee was beside herself with exhaustion. My priority was to get her as comfortable as possible on the chairs and let her sleep, which she did. Paul and Maelyn went in search of food and enjoyed some noodle soup together. Afterwards, Maelyn finally crashed and slept for about an hour and half. Waking her up when it was time to check into our next flight was not easy!

We hit a snag when we tried to check into the final flight. We had booked our tickets when Ailee had her old passport and they were not happy that she now had a new passport number. They didn't want to let us on the flight. I promised to fix the situation before we did our return flight at the end of the trip and they finally agreed. Phew!

When we landed in Nanchang two hours later, the girls were doing well and I was beyond exhausted. We met up with our guide and our driver for that night and began the two hour drive into Wannian County. It was 2:30 am, so the roads were nice and clear!

We checked into the hotel and very gratefully unpacked just enough to get ourselves to bed and finally get some rest.

Still not sure if the indirect travel was worth it or not -- time will tell!

Our Journey Back to China

Last year, we went on the trip of a life-time. With the company of other adoptive families and friends, we toured the beautiful country of our children's birth. We experienced so many amazing adventures and were able to enjoy all of them together, laughing and supporting one another. 

We also had one of the most amazing experiences of our lives -- meeting Maelyn's birth family. It was an experience that is difficult to put into words. (scroll below this post to see the posts from last year's trip)

So why go back again so quickly, only a year after our last trip? The answer is simple. For the love of our children and their first families. While we had the privilege of meeting the birth family last year, we were only able to spend a few days together. This year, we will not be touring China, but spending the entire time with the family, getting to know one another and simply spending time together. Time for the siblings to hang out, time for family members to connect. 

We leave for China tomorrow and getting there will be its own adventure. It will take us four flights and 48 hours to get there, but once there, we will settle into our hotel and stay in one spot. Please check back for updates, if you would like to follow along!

December 31 - Hardest Day: Goodbyes

Today was hands down one of the hardest days Paul and I have ever had to deal with – ever. It was the day we had to say goodbye.

We met the family for breakfast in our hotel. Maelyn’s uncle also joined us, as did the nieces we had met the night before. The mood was definitely more sombre. Everyone could feel the goodbye coming, but we were all trying to ignore it. Ailee, thankfully, was feeling better and able to join us.

Amy, one of the nieces, braided the girls’ hair and kept them entertained, once they were done eating. While they were eating, Maelyn’s big sister fed Maelyn again and Maelyn’s mama fed Ailee. We all chatted about China and Canada and the fact that it was snowing in Wannian County – something that rarely happens. We joked that us Canadians brought the weather with us!

Once we were done breakfast, we went up to our hotel room for about 20 minutes for more of a visit. Then it was time to say goodbye. Paul and I felt like our hearts were ripping out and that we were saying goodbye to a family that we already loved. I cannot even imagine how Maelyn and her family were dreading this moment. It was very, very difficult. Ailee played with Ella at this point so that we could concentrate on Maelyn’s needs and so that Ailee wouldn’t feel stressed out by the situation.

Maelyn’s mom gathered her in a hug and kept caressing her face, giving her advice and good wishes for her future. She started crying and you could see she was starting to feel panicky about saying goodbye. The tears started to flow for everyone, including our guides. Everyone hugged and expressed love for one another – and our tears did not need any interpretation. We all knew what the other was feeling at that moment. We promised that we would return and spend more time visiting with the family. Maelyn’s mama kept coming back to her and it was very hard for her to leave. Her family had to guide her out – and down the hallway she kept calling out to Maelyn, telling her she loved her and that if she ever needed her, she would be there. The three of us went into the hotel room and cried while holding each other.

The tears flowed on and off throughout the day. I actually didn’t know if I could get on that bus and leave, the pull was that strong. When we did eventually get on the bus and it pulled away from Maelyn’s hometown, my heart physically ached and the three of us held hands and silently wept. Although in our head we know that Maelyn needed to come home with us and that she is also our daughter and would not know how to function in the environment of her birth home, the guilt of having her while they do not, was quite intense.

The bus ride was about two hours long and it helped to give us some time to calm down and think more logically – that we will be back, and soon, to connect once again with this loving family.

We got to the airport and boarded our flight for Beijing. We arrived quite late at our hotel, so the kids were beyond tired. Our hearts and bodies were ready for a rest.

December 30 - Family Visit

How do I even begin to put this day into words? It doesn’t seem fitting to use mere words. It is an experience that is indescribable. What I can say, however, is that we are forever changed.

Ailee had a bit of a rough night last night. She has a cold that has settled into her chest and she was up coughing quite often. This morning I gave her inhalers and everything else I could to help her feel better. She was coughing so much and so hard that we had to decide what to do about our visit today. Luckily, Nancy came to the rescue. She offered to watch Ailee while Paul and I brought Maelyn to her family home for a visit. Maelyn was sad that Ailee couldn’t join us, but she did ask Ella and her family to come instead – so that she had someone in her corner, she said.

We had asked the police officer who helped our searcher locate Maelyn’s family in their village to join us for lunch. He couldn’t make it to lunch, but we came downstairs in the hotel lobby to four police officers and their cars, there to escort us to the family home. We were also surprised to see Maelyn’s mom in the lobby, waiting for us. She had come to help direct us to her home. Another surprise was that Maelyn’s grandma was also there; we gave her a big hug and she was very happy to see all of us. She was very kind!

Maelyn joined her mom, grandma and Paul in one car, while Ella, her family and I went in another car. The police officer told us about the 800-year history of the area as we were making our way to the village. The village will soon to turned into a water reservoir and the families in the valley will be moving to new homes closer to town. The scenery was incredible and I felt like we were going back in time, due to the age of the buildings around us, the mountains and the vegetation.

Our first stop was at the office of the village official, where he welcomed Maelyn home and gave her a small gift. At this point, mom and grandma had decided that Maelyn wasn’t warm enough (a very typical concern in China, as these families do not have heat in their homes and are always combatting the cold). Grandma got into the van and took off one layer of pants and put them on Maelyn. Mom gave Maelyn one of her coats. They were then satisfied that Maelyn was sufficiently bundled. I had warned Maelyn that this may happen, so she was prepared and just rolled with it. 

We arrived at the home and pulled up beside the creek where the family does their laundry. We walked towards the front courtyard of the house and the villagers came out to greet us. This was the first time any Westerner had ever visited the remote village. It was quite a scene! Then, Maelyn’s father asked us to stay there while he set off firecrackers in the courtyard. The firecrackers were set off to welcome their daughter home and to announce the importance of the event to the village. I can barely write that sentence without feeling the intense emotions of that moment. The idea that they were welcoming her home brought me intense joy and also released a flood of tears. I couldn’t help it; I was so happy for our girl. I turned to Paul and became a sobbing mess. I could barely catch my breath. Maelyn’s mom came over and hugged me and we both cried together. It was a moment I will never, ever forget.

Once we all composed ourselves, we were ushered into the main living area of their home and we were presented with snacks, treats, and warm drinks. The villagers all came through the doors and joined us! The were overflowing into the courtyard. They all had kind things to say about how healthy and happy Maelyn looked and about how hard Paul and I must have done to raise her well. It was very touching and we could see that Maelyn’s parents were very proud of their daughter and in welcoming us to their home.

The villagers all carried these wooden pails that they had warm ashes in; they act as a hand-warmer. They would hold the warmers as a method of keeping warm while outside. It was unbelievable; these ancient looking hand-warmers, in a home that looked like it was build no later than the 1800’s and then everyone with their apple iPhones; so interesting.

Maelyn’s family presented her with more jewellery and her sisters put the necklaces and bracelets on her. They presented our family with red envelopes and gifts for Ailee. We had gifts for them, as well. After we spent some time eating, taking pictures of the home and family members, villagers and then handing out some Canadian-themed gifts and trinkets to everyone, we went out front to take family pictures. When we were done, firecrackers were once again set off in celebration of the occasion.

The police officers then drove us to the construction site of the new family home that is being built for them. They were proud to show us around and tell us that in this home, they will have running water and electricity. Paul and I just looked at each other and it drove home yet again how fortunate we are. 

 

It was then time for lunch and a big celebration. The police officers said their goodbyes and we thanked them for their help. At lunch we met Maelyn’s uncle, aunt and two younger cousins. The girls were so cute! The doctor that delivered Maelyn also joined us, as did the rest of our travel group. There were about 25 people at lunch! Poor Nancy stayed back with Ailee at the hotel, as Ailee wasn’t well enough to be out and needed to rest.

At lunch, there was a lot to celebrate. Maelyn’s parents went around to every person individually and thanked them by giving a cheers to each person and their role in their daughter’s life. It was very touching. The dads also had a good time finding many excuses to cheers and enjoy some Chinese beer together. They are quite similar and both dads had a ready smile for each other and enjoyed spending some more relaxed time together.

Maelyn sat with her first family and Paul and I chose to deliberately sit at the other side of the table. We wanted to give them some space to just be together. Maelyn was treated like a princess; she didn’t feed herself once at lunch. Her big sister or mama fed her every single bite. She was cared for more than any child her age would normally be, but I felt like her mom deserved the time to mother the daughter she had missed being able to mother for ten years. Maelyn never stopped smiling and we could tell she was feeling very cared for by her family. Paul and I kept joking together that she would have a rude awakening when she had to start feeding herself again! J

Once lunch was finished, it was actually late afternoon and it had been a long day. We needed to get back and check on Ailee and we all needed a break, mentally. Maelyn’s uncle invited us to dinner at his home; we thanked him, but told him we were very tired and needed to check on our other daughter. We asked the entire family to join us the next morning for breakfast at our hotel. We were not ready to say goodbye to this amazing and very loving family.

That afternoon her family video chatted with us; they were out shopping for the girls and wanted to know their sizes. It was important to them to cloth Maelyn. It was difficult for us to say yes, as we know that money is a constant struggle for the family, but they deserved the chance to care for their child, so we relented and showed our appreciation. They showed the girls different jackets and other clothing over the video chat and the girls nodded their heads yes or no if they liked the items. Paul and I just shook our heads, laughing.

We are so blessed that Maelyn’s family is one of the kindest we have ever met. We feel very connected to them and we all love each other very much. We share our daughter with one another, which is a very unique and special experience. One that has changed us forever.  

I was missing Ailee and happy to be able to snuggle with her when she wasn’t feeling well. Maelyn, at first, was quiet and wanted some time to read. After a short time, she joined the girls and played with them for the rest of the evening. The uncle and aunt continued to ask us over WeChat to join them for dinner, but we had to decline again. Ailee just wasn’t well enough.

Just before we were getting ready for bed, Maelyn’s uncle and two of his teenage nieces from his wife’s side of the family showed up at our hotel room door. We were very surprised and wondered what was going on. The uncle had brought bags and bags of gifts for Maelyn and Ailee. We were shocked beyond belief at how generous the family was being with us. Maelyn was over the moon with her uncle and his kindness. He introduced his nieces to us, who were excited to meet family from Canada and to practice their English with us. Her uncle can also speak a little English and has vowed to study hard to learn English more, now that his niece speaks English. It was very touching.

He also brought snacks that were a specialty of the area for the group to share and then told us that he had gotten every person in the group a pearl bracelet, to help remember the momentous occasion. We were floored, once again, by his generosity. Maelyn and her uncle went to the room of each travel member and passed out the bracelets. Everyone was very thankful. We then spent a short time visiting with the uncle and his nieces and then he said it was time for us to rest. When leaving, he gave Paul a very genuine embrace and told him, through tears, how grateful he was that we were taking such good care of his niece and how happy he was to know us. It was very touching and another example of the kindness of this family.

Paul and I are blown away by this experience. It has been difficult to put into words. It has brought us closer together as a couple and as a family. We are very blessed.