Notes from Guangzhou

Just a quick note to say that we had an amazing day here in Guangzhou. Paul and I were able to visit Ailee’s orphanage today and it was a very moving experience. Our little monkey also opened up a lot today and we were able to get a glimpse of more of her personality.

Paul and I have been suffering from lack of sleep. The girls are in our bed and they move around all night long – which doesn’t leave us feeling rested in the morning. Also, Ailee wakes up coughing and choking in the night, which leaves this Mama not feeling very comfortable drifting into a deep sleep. We think the medication we got her is finally kicking in, so hopefully that will help.

So – the post about the orphanage visit is just too important to trust to my tired brain right now. I will post shortly, but we leave in the morning for Beijing. Which means we also have to pack up tonight for our trip tomorrow.

I have mixed emotions about leaving Guangzhou – the place where we became a family of four and where Ailee spent the first 19 months of her life – but I know that we are one step closer to home and to our normal day to day family life.

I just had to include a picture of our little monkey and her double-thumb sucking thing that she does when she is tired – melts our hearts!!

Loving our little monkey

Yesterday we spent the day getting to know our little monkey.

My mom was dying to shop, even though we have told her that Beijing is the place for bargains, so off we went to Wal-Mart right after breakfast.

Wal-Mart in Guangzhou ended up being the place where Mama and Ailee began bonding. There was a point in time when we were shopping that Ailee was inconsolable. I ended up holding her to try and console her and while I did, I sang softly to her. She placed her cheek right against my mouth and then that was it – she was a Mama’s girl from then on. She didn’t let me put her down during the rest of the shopping trip or even for the rest of the day.

I felt so badly for Paul – he had done such an amazing job with her for the first two days and he was really enjoying his special time with Ailee. On the other hand, it was nice to be able to get to know my little girl and give her kisses and snuggles.

On our way home from shopping, both girls fell asleep. We were able to put them to bed for a nap and then we had a short nap ourselves (well, Paul slept while I read). We had an appointment to get Ailee’s passport picture done and as Maelyn was still asleep, we asked Grandma to babysit and the three of us went to the appointment on our own.

While at the bureau, I handed Ailee to Paul so that I could get out some paperwork out of the backpack and she started to squirm in his arms. She then called out for me, “Mama.” Her first word!!

When we got back to the hotel, Maelyn was still asleep. This was probably a good thing as she was very, very tired and cranky – lack of sleep was catching up to her. Although, it wasn’t so great when she wouldn’t go to bed before midnight last night!!

When Maelyn woke up we took Kyle and the girls to the playroom in the hotel. Paul chased and ran with the kids for over an hour and wore them out. Ailee started to discover playing with toys – and once she started, she couldn’t be stopped! She played games where she handed all the toys in front of her to me, then wanted them handed back. Then, she would do the same with Maelyn and Grandma.

When we returned to the hotel room, I brought out the stacking cups. Any adoptive family totally understands the magic of the stacking cups. Ailee went to town with them! She stacked and restacked those cups so quickly and furiously that I couldn’t help laughing over and over again. Yan Yan really engaged with us and spent a lot of time smiling and giggling. It was wonderful to see!

Other things we discovered about our little girl is that she loves to rock back and forth. When you are holding her and she can get her feet planted anywhere, she will forcefully use her feet to get you to rock. She loves it! This girl also loves her food! And she has decided that she is way too big for a bottle and has kicked them entirely. Yan Yan will only drink out of a cup.

The cutest thing ever is that when she is tired, Yan Yan will put both of her thumbs in her mouth and cross her fingers – still trying to get a picture of that one! This girl is a sleeper and goes down regularly for naps and bedtime.

We are loving Ailee more and more every day and it has been wonderful to see her personality start to come through some of the fear and anxiety that she has been feeling.

We love you, Yan Yan!

Maelyn’s drawing of Ailee…



It's Official!

Our first night together went very, very well! Our little monkey slept so long that we eventually had to wake her up so that we were not late for the civil affairs appointment.

Paul put Yan Yan in the carrier and it seemed to help her to feel safe. We prepared her morning bottle and she finished it while we were being driving to the civil affairs office. We finally figured out that what Ailee really wanted was a larger hole in the nipple of the bottle and once we did that, she drank it like a champ!

At the civil affairs office, Paul and I had to go through a series of interviews, sign more paperwork, and promise to always care for Ailee as she grows up. Not a difficult promise to make! We then took our official family photo, necessary for the remainder of the paperwork. To take the pictures, we had to take a bottle of apple juice out of Yan Yan’s mouth, so she is screaming bloody murder in the photo – priceless!

Now, Ailee is officially our daughter!

We went back to the hotel and Maelyn was dying to play with Kyle in the hotel play room. My mom took the kids to play, which gave Paul and I some time alone with Ailee. At this point, we decided to change her clothes as we had no idea what size she truly was and some of the clothes she had on were very tight and making grooves in her skin. It looks like the 12 month clothes I brought will do – but she is truly in 18 month clothing.

I was able to connect with her a little, making faces and funny sounds, which made her both smile and laugh. She was sitting on Paul’s lap and would look up at him to confirm that this lady was truly funny and that it was okay to laugh. Precious!

By the afternoon, she even allowed me to hold her for a few minutes, as long as her Baba was within sight. But by the evening, it was all about Baba again. I am just so happy that she is feeling comfortable with one of us!

Enjoying her first yogourt

An afternoon nap with Baba

The four of us spent the afternoon together in the hotel. Maelyn, who normally is all about me, suddenly only wants her Daddy to pick her up and carry her – just like her sister. Sibling rivalry/jealousy perhaps?

At one point, we decided to go for a walk up and down the hallways and stretch our legs. It has been difficult to get outside to play at the parks because it has been raining consistently. Ailee wanted out so very badly that she freaked out when Paul moved her away from the door, just so that he could open it for her!

Yan Yan started off walking while holding on to one of Paul’s hands. But at one point, she pulled her hand away and toddled off on her own. Maelyn thought it was hilarious and she thinks her sister walks like a penguin, so they played ‘penguins’ for quite some time. Hehe! Ailee couldn’t be stopped – she just kept going up and down hallway after hallway. So cute!

After a massive dinner of pasta and tomato sauce (the girls ate our entire order!), we noticed that they were both getting very sleepy, so we changed Ailee into her pyjamas (which she wasn’t happy about), and I gave Maelyn a bath. When Maelyn was ready for bed, we came out into the living room area and found that both Ailee and Baba were asleep sitting up on the couch!

It was bedtime for everyone at this point – we were exhausted! The girls slept well all night, but they moved around all the time, which kept us awake. There were a few points in the night when we found Maelyn sleeping with her head on Ailee’s tummy and Ailee had her hand on Maleyn’s head. No matter how often we moved them apart, they drifted back together.

Life is good!!

Ailee!

As we weren’t to head to the civil affair office until 1:45 pm, the day started out calmly and quietly. We had a wonderful breakfast at the hotel and had to laugh at their system. There are many, many adoptive families staying in this hotel and at breakfast, they place all of us together in a back room – too funny!

We spent the rest of the morning preparing for Ailee’s arrival – getting the camera’s all set, putting out a few small toys for her, setting up her crib. We all started to feel nervous and excited that in a few short hours, Ailee would forever be a part of our family.

At 1:45 we met our guide and the other family we are travelling with in the lobby. Maelyn was so happy and excited to see Kyle. The two of them ran around the lobby giggling with happiness at being able to play together. We sorted through some necessary paperwork and then we got into the van and headed out to meet our daughters.

When we arrived at the civil affairs office, there were hardly any families there. I immediately recognized the room as we have seen video of other families’ Forever Family Days in the same room. We set our things down and almost immediately, the other family’s daughter was there and handed over to them. More and more families arrived and it was breathtaking to watch their families being created. We didn’t get to experience this with Maelyn’s adoption, as we were the only family there at the time.

Our guide told us that Ailee and the orphanage staff were stuck in traffic and that we would have to wait a little while longer. Sound familiar? We told her that as long as it wasn’t 18 hours, we would be fine. 

And then – she was there. My mom recognized her first, as I was talking to Maelyn. I looked up and knew immediately that that was our little girl. Her nanny handed her over to me and my heart felt at peace. Our family of four was finally together. Ailee, however, was not happy about leaving one of the nanny’s that loved and cared for her while she lived in the orphanage.

I grabbed the snacks I had brought with me and began feeding them to her and she was able to calm down. I noticed that she was pretty congested and made sure to feed her small amounts. At this point, the nanny that brought her to us told us that they call her ‘Yan Yan.’ She also told us that her palate was recently repaired! Paul and I couldn’t believe it! She will not face a major surgery when she gets home. Perhaps a slight lip revision, but nothing compared to the recovery of palate surgery. We were able to ask a few questions, but we are going to get the chance to visit the orphanage on Friday and will have more opportunities to ask questions, perhaps with a clearer head!

The palate being closed also explains her size. She is not tiny at all! Last time, I brought clothes that were too big. This time, I am pretty sure that the clothes I brought for Ailee are going to be too small. 

I handed Ailee to Paul so that he could have a chance to meet her and that is the last time I have been able to hold our little monkey. She is totally and completely stuck on Paul. Ailee has decided that he is going to be ‘her person.’ Honestly, I am happy for him. He never got to experience that intense bonding with Maelyn and constantly referred to himself as ‘the mule’ throughout the last adoption journey. This time, the roles have completely reversed!!

Once we were back at the hotel, Maelyn was spinning with excitement. She kept handing Yan Yan toys to play with. Ailee clung onto a plastic spoon and wouldn’t let go. Maelyn didn’t understand why she wouldn’t share the spoon, so she proceeded to write Ailee a note about why it is important to share and she put the note on her lap, after reading it aloud to her sister.

Maelyn has been a fantastic big sister! She got Ailee’s first smile (by putting a toy on her own head), and then even got her first giggle (by jumping on Mama’s back and making me fall over). Ailee refused to take a bottle from us, but had no problem taking the bottle from Maelyn. Maelyn was very pleased with herself and kept telling us that she is a good big sister. We have to agree!!

In the evening, we got Maelyn ready for bed and Yan Yan started to cry. We think she figured out that we would be going to sleep and she wasn’t too happy about it at all. She ended up falling asleep on Paul’s shoulder. He then tried to put her in the crib, but she panicked. Ailee ended up sleeping on Paul or right beside him for the rest of the night. When she would fuss, he would rub her back and she would settle right back down.

Our girls are together and we are a very grateful and happy family of four.

It's Ailee Day!

The day is finally here!! It’s Forever Family Day – yahoo!!!

Our clocks have finally switched and Maelyn slept from 7 – 7 last night – thank goodness!!

We have finished breakfast and now we are making last minute preparations for Ailee’s arrival.

We leave at 1:45 to go to the Civil Affairs office and meet Ailee very shortly after that. Cannot believe that the big day is here! Although, when Maelyn woke up this morning she said that she no longer wanted a little girl, but now wants a little boy. Jeesh!

My heart is most looking forward to seeing Maelyn and Ailee meet and become forever sisters. We can’t wait to snuggle her in our arms and comfort her when she is upset.

This will be a difficult day for Ailee. She is leaving the home and family that she knows and today her life will change forever. It is be a big and most likely difficult transition for her. Please keep her in your thoughts today.

We will post something as quickly as we can, depending on how little monkey (and the rest of us) are coping.

Another piece of the puzzle

(Please note, there is another blog post before this one.)

Saturday morning we were up bright and early (make that 1am – we haven’t yet been successful at switching Maelyn’s clock), to head to the town where Maelyn was found. Our goal was to be able to take a picture of her finding spot. What we ended up getting was much more than that.

The road to the town was very, very rural. We were driving over dirt roads that were not well maintained and very, very bumpy! We even drove through/around a few small mountains, driving on no more than a dirt path. It made for an interesting/nail biting drive! Paul and I love the adventure, so we were grinning the entire time. We passed through rural China and it was fascinating and breathtaking – the scenery and the villages were so very beautiful and interesting.

There are portions of our day and/or information that we received that is not appropriate to share in a blog setting. Most everything to do with where Maelyn was found is her story, not ours. When she is older, this is the portion of her story that she can share when she feels it is appropriate and with whomever she feels comfortable. However, there were many things we experienced that day that we can share.

We arrived at the small orphanage in the area and were met by the director and the staff. They ushered us inside and told us that they also had a file on Maelyn. I was shocked – I had no idea that they might have any information to share, as she was there less than 24 hours. As a family, we received the greatest gift – an original note that was left with Maelyn. They told us we could take a picture of it, but I begged them for the original, insisting that they note truly belonged to Maelyn. They agreed and took a photo of it for their own files.

We then drove out to Maelyn’s finding spot – which we learned was not in the location indicated in her paperwork.

We were then taken to a local restaurant where we were treated to yet another wonderful lunch. We had the greatest time!! They were soooo friendly and kept saying cheers and good blessings for us. One of the orphanage staff was the same age as Paul and they had a great time eating and drinking together – he kept telling Paul, ‘bottoms up’ in very broken English. It was a blast!

Towards the end of the lunch, the director presented Maelyn with a pearl necklace, welcoming her back to her home. They told her that she would always be a part of their community and in their hearts. It was very moving. They were such genuine people.

After taking pictures and exchanging emails, we got back into the van and headed towards Nanchang to catch our flight to Guangzhou.

It was a whirlwind homeland tour, but one that we won’t ever forget.

Orphanage and Foster Family Visit - Part 2

We left the foster family’s home and headed towards to the old orphanage building. About two years ago, the orphanage moved into a new building, but Maelyn never lived there. She spent the first few months of her life at the old orphanage, before moving to her foster parents’ home.

The room where Maelyn’s referral photo was taken…

We made our way back to the orphanage and we were told that we would have the chance to meet the little girl that Maelyn lived with while at the foster home. She no longer lives with the foster family. Because of the new orphanage building, they changed the way the foster system runs. The foster families now live in small apartments within the orphanage itself and care for 4 to 5 children at a time. For Maelyn’s foster family, moving into the orphanage was not an option, as their son and grandsons live with them.

After four years of living with the family, the orphanage moved Maelyn’s foster sister into the orphanage, about six months ago. Both parents and child were devastated. My heart simply broke for the little girl that has had to go through that. Without having even met her, I wanted to scoop her up and take her home. I just kept thinking that that could have so easily been Maelyn.

Maelyn didn’t seem to recognize her foster sister, but she did recognize Maelyn. We left after a few minutes of visiting with her, with a heavy heart.

We joined the director and many of the staff members for lunch. We were welcomed with dish after dish of wonderful food. They also showed us the banner that they had made for Maelyn and they gave it to her as a gift.

After lunch we headed back up the director’s office and we were given a chance to look through Maelyn’s file. We were really hoping to find new information – anything at all. Although, I was silently hoping and praying for a note from her first parents or the outfit she was found in. The piece of information that we did find was her baby footprint – so cute! The rest of the paperwork was simply the paperwork that we had to complete for her adoption.

The director offered to copy the file for us – what a gift!

Before we left on our adventure, quite a few families sent me picture updates of their Shangrao children to pass on to the orphanage and foster families. I gave the package to the director and the workers started shouting and yelling – they were so excited to see pictures of the children they helped care for. One worker ran to get the foster mothers of those in the pictures. It was a tremendous sight to see – the children were so loved and the staff genuinely enjoys receiving the updates.

We said many goodbyes and headed back to the hotel to rest and absorb the enormity of the day. We couldn’t believe our good fortune and we are so thankful for the information that we were able to find for Maelyn.