Orphanage & Foster Family Visit - Part 1

Today was the most powerful, intense, amazing, wonderful day. It was a day that we will always remember and one that has forever changed us.


Early in the morning we were picked up by our driver and we headed to the orphanage. The orphanage itself is a new building and one that Maelyn never lived in herself. But, the orphanage is where Maelyn’s information is still kept and many of the caregivers and even children are people that Maelyn would have known during the first two years of her life.

As we pulled up to the orphanage, we were greeted by a sign that welcomed Maelyn home. Then, the Director of the orphanage and many of the caregivers met us at the car. It was completely surreal. After years of researching and piecing together as much of Maelyn’s history as possible, we were finally here – in the place where we hoped to get answers to some of our questions and for Maelyn to connect with her orphanage family.

We were taken to the Director’s office. She was accompanied by a woman who seemed to be very happy to see Maelyn. She showed us a photo of Maelyn and confirmed what we had always believed – that the photo was taken on her last day at her foster parents home, just as she was saying her goodbyes to her China family. We were thrilled that they remembered Maelyn! The woman also went on to tell us that she was the one who brought Maelyn from where she was found to the orphanage. (For all of those Shangrao adoptive families reading this blog, she is responsible for bringing all of the ‘Wan’ children to the orphanage – such an important piece of the puzzle solved).

We then showed the Director and the lady the photos we had of Maelyn in China – and asked about the adults in the pictures. We were able to confirm that the man Maelyn has always called her ‘China Daddy,’ was in fact her foster father. We were thrilled! We also learned about the man who had accompanied her to Shanghai for her lip surgery – confirming so many names and places in Maelyn’s life.

We shared with them photos of Maelyn since she has been home with us and then we were told that our request to visit the foster family’s home (rarely allowed) had been arranged. We couldn’t believe it!! They told us that the foster family was eagerly awaiting our arrival and that we would be leaving right away.

We once again got into the van and then we headed into the countryside, where the foster family lives. Maelyn was getting very tired by this point because she had been up since midnight. I was hoping and praying that she would stay awake and engage with the foster family even just a little bit – but I knew that we wouldn’t force anything. She has been very clingy with me on this trip, so if we had to, we would just let her stay in our arms the entire time.

When we got there we ended up parking on the side of the road. Their house is up on a small hill and there wasn’t a driveway we could park in. As we got out of the van, the foster mother was there waiting for us. She was grinning from ear to ear and our guide began translating that the foster mother had a happy heart because we were here to visit. She tried to say hello to Maelyn, but Maelyn hid her head in my shoulder and wouldn’t budge.

We started walking up the walkway and then we were looking at the house. I was so, so happy to see the home. We had seen a few photos online of the home, but to see it in person was an entirely different experience – and I instantly felt at peace. I have had an intense need to know more about Maelyn’s past – for both our sakes. Being there, in person, was amazing.

I crouched down with Maelyn to tell her that this was where she had lived when she was little, but before I could even get the words out, she jumped out of my arms and yelled, “This is my home!” She ran right inside and started squealing and jumping up and down. Our little miss who was tired and acting shy came completely alive as soon as she saw her China home. I could see peace and contentment all over her face.

Everyone was giddy and happy that we were all together. Maelyn went right away to her ‘China Mama’ and sat down at the table with her, as though it was something she still did every day. I asked where the foster father was and the foster mother went to get him. When he came in the room, Maelyn screamed in joy and literally ran to him. The joy that was on both of their faces was impossible to miss and every single one of us in the room shed many tears.

I showed the foster mother photos from when Maelyn lived in China and she couldn’t believe that we had them. She had never been given any photos of Maelyn and a camera is a luxury they couldn’t afford. I gave them the photos and also updated photos of Maleyn in the two years since she has been home with us. They were very happy to be able to keep them.

The crib Maelyn slept in…

We spent the next hour and half talking, through our guide, and sharing stories and information. While we talked, the foster father used a big knife to carve sugar cane for all of us to eat. The foster mother shared a story about when Maelyn and her foster sister walked out of the house together and they couldn’t be found. The foster mom was crying and frantic, but they were finally found. She couldn’t believe how tenacious the girls were.

We were shocked when we found out that Maelyn lived with a foster sister for the entire time she spent with the family. We had assumed, through information we had found, that there were many children living in the home at once. But the family confirmed that it was just the two girls. The other little girl is eight months older than Maelyn and was apparently heartbroken when Maelyn left to come home to our family.

We were also introduced to their neighbours, who spent a lot of time at the home and they knew Maelyn well. The neighbour said that Maelyn was a very smart little girl and that they would marvel at watching how she solved problems and copied everything that everyone else did. Maelyn was obviously very loved not only by the foster family, but by the community as well.

The foster mother’s grandchildren. They live there and the oldest one remembers Maelyn.

We feel at peace because we now know for certain that Maelyn was very, very loved and she lived in a family setting for the first two years of her life. So many questions were answered and that in itself is such a gift.

When it was time to leave, Maelyn was very sad. We all shed tears as we hugged and promised to keep in touch. We walked away with love for this family that we had only met two hours before.

We will be back to visit. How could we not? Our family and hearts have grown and the experience was magical.

(There was more to our day – we went back to the orphanage and spent quite some there. Will update again about our experiences in the next two days, once we land in Guangzhou.)

Picture issues

Hi friends of Jan and Paul - this is Lianne, your blog administrator here!  In the batches of photos that Jan is forwarding each day, there are occasionally a few that are corrupted. We eventually get them corrected but it could be hours later due to the time difference. All this to say, each time you visit take a quick skim through the previous posts as you may find some new pics for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy!

A Wild Ride!

What a wild few days it has been. It feels like we have been travelling non-stop for days on end and we are all reaching the end of our ropes.

We fell asleep easily by 8pm last night. But then we were all wide awake by midnight. After only four hours of sleep, I figured that Maelyn would crash again – but no – we were up for the day. We entertained Maelyn as best we could from midnight until 6am and then we went and had breakfast.

Keeping Maelyn busy during the night...

Our guide, Kelly, and our driver arrived to pick us up at 7:30 to take us to the train station. On the way, we were able to get our first glimpse of Shanghai in daylight. We couldn’t believe the sheer number of buildings and apartment buildings there were – it was unbelievable! Every square inch of land was accounted for.

The train station in Shanghai is huge!! Luckily, Kelly took us through all of the gates and even made sure we were in our seats before she left us. We never would have been able to find our way around – it is just too big!

The train itself was comfortable and was very fast! We travelled at about 200 km/hr the entire way. Maelyn was fascinated with the scenery and spent much of the first part of the ride staring out the window. I tried my best to entertain her for the last 2 hours of our 4.5 hour journey. We coloured, decorated paper with stickers and made worm families with playdough.

Paul and I also loved watching the scenery. We pulled away from the busy and very cramped Shanghai and headed towards a more country-like setting. It is hard to explain – seeing the sparse and older setting in the towns, mixed in with a few new structures or roadways. Nothing seemed organized and planned. There were many, many gardens and there were garbage piles in the outskirts of most towns. Yet the gardens and the people working in the fields make the scenery very beautiful. So very different from home and so very fascinating.

The funniest part of the train ride was this family or group of friends (we aren’t sure) that got on at one of the stops. They sat down as a group and they started taking out bags of food. They had all brought food to share with one another. Then, they started passing out small green bottles of booze and rounds of what I can only imagine were ‘cheers’ was being said over and over again. We watched (stared at) them while they ate food such as chicken feet – they kept us very entertained.

I think we also helped to entertain many of the passengers on the train. After a few hours, Maelyn wanted to go for a walk, so we walked up and down the aisles. Heads would turn as we walked – they kept looking at her and then looking at me, trying to make the connection. It was pretty amusing to watch their confusion. But, most of them were very kind and they would wave to Maelyn and say hello – to which she would proudly reply, ‘Ni Hao.’ She even managed to make friends with one little girl and they kept ‘visiting’ each other on walks up and down the aisles.

We quickly tired of our train ride – we were all so sick of travelling by this point. All we wanted was to check into the hotel and be able to crash.

We got off the train in Shangrao, the city where Maelyn’s orphanage is located. Our Shangrao guide, Susan, met us on the platform. We knew right off the bat that she would be wonderful – she brought McD’s fries for Maelyn because she knew she would be hungry.

As we made our way towards the van that was waiting to transport us to the hotel, we had our first ‘swarming’ incident – and it really threw my mom. Shangrao is a more remote city and they do not often see foreigners. When we exited the train tunnel, we came to a platform that was a flight up from the people below. You have to picture it – it was like a scene of the second coming. These foreigners emerge from the tunnel onto this platform and it is like time stood still. All of the street vendors and other people hanging out in the area dropped everything they were doing to stare at us – it was like being an animal on display at the zoo. My poor mom felt intimidated by it – Paul and I are used to it, so it was something we had expected. However, it has never really happened to the degree that it did today! As we made our way down to the van and loaded our gear, we had a parade of people following us – if only you could have seen our entourage!

We headed to the hotel and enjoyed the scenery on the way. The scenery here is much different, due to the poverty of the area. Neither Paul nor I could believe that we were finally in the city where Maelyn spent the first two years of her life. We feel such a connection to China and especially to Shangrao. My heart is happy!

Maelyn fell asleep during the last five minutes of the van ride and we are completely unable to wake her up. Poor monkey is so, so tired! It looks like it will be a 3am wake up call for us! Although the fireworks that are being set off in the parking lot directly outside our hotel room right now might wake her up!

We are now settled into our hotel and we are all very happy to take a break from the constant travelling. We are all totally done in – not helping things is the fact that I am still feeling pretty crummy.

Tomorrow we visit the orphanage and foster family. I cannot believe that the day is finally here!! Our guide told us that when we visit Maelyn’s finding spot on Saturday, that we are going to meet the person who found her. Unbelievable! Susan made some phone calls for us and because Maelyn has only been home with us for two years now, the information we are looking for is still fresh in everyone’s minds.

I cannot wait to see what the next two days bring!

Safe in Shanghai!

We are here, safe and sound in Shanghai!

We left early Tuesday morning (Canadian time). We had a limo-type vehicle pick us up to take us to the airport. We hired the company specifically because they advertised that they would provide a car seat for us. Note to self – make sure to ask the driver if the car seat is legal and if it was manufactured within the last 15 years. The car seat was so horribly installed and broken that I had to hold Maelyn on my lap. The car also smelled horribly of cigarette smoke – it was as though we were preparing for driving around in China!


Heading for the airport!

 

The ‘car seat’ that was provided…

 We arrived at the airport a little early, which meant we got through all line-ups and security with ease.





Entertaining Maelyn at the airport – she loved this ‘bubble’ machine!

Maelyn was so excited to board the plane and get to ‘her China,’ so that she could go get her sister, Ailee. She was wired and was bouncing off the walls for the first few hours of the flight. Maelyn behaved very well on the flight – during the entire trip, actually.

Maelyn and I walked up and down the aisles throughout the flight. She would smile at everyone and they would chat with her. My mom also took turns walking with Maelyn and holding Maelyn on her lap. She was such a big help! Maelyn eventually settled down, but she only ended up sleeping for about four hours.

On the personal televisions you can see a map of your flight and your distance to landing at your destination. Maelyn loved watching our progress and at one point, as the plane got closer to China, she yelled out, very loudly, ‘We are almost at China! Yay, China!!’

Landing was a little worse than I had remembered – it really hurt my ears. That could be because I have caught Maelyn’s cold/infection and I am a bit of a congested mess. Maelyn was asleep as we landed, but she woke up and was in a wonderful mood. How come she can’t wake up after only four hours of sleep at home and be in such a good mood??  We found our Shanghai guide and we got into the van, to head to the hotel.

What should have been a 45 minute drive turned into a 2 hour drive – and after such a long day and flight, it was slightly torturous. There was one point where we didn’t move an inch for over 20 minutes. Maelyn was unsure of what was going on and wasn’t impressed when I told her that we would be going to the hotel. She was very mad that we weren’t going to get Ailee right away!

We eventually settled into our hotel rooms and we all crashed right away. Maelyn fell asleep within minutes. But – it is now just after 1 am and we have already been up for an hour. We slept a total of four more hours, but hopefully our systems will get on track today.

In a few hours we will head for breakfast and then it is off to the train station and then to Shangrao. I have been anticipating this portion of the trip for over two years – since the day Maelyn came into our lives. It is so important to us to be able to visit her orphanage and foster home and hopefully gather as much information about her first two years as we possibly can.

I am not sure how reliable the internet connection will be in Shangrao, so if you don’t hear from us, we will touch base once we are in Guangzhou.

Leaving on a jet plane...

I thought for sure that we would be packed and ready to go so early in the day that we would be able to watch a movie and relax tonight. That did not happen. But -- we are finally done and we cannot wait to begin our journey!!

The car is picking us up at 8am and then we are off to the airport. I cannot wait until we leave the driveway and we can leave our to-do list behind. :)

Our flight leaves at noon and we will arrive in Shanghai at 4pm Shanghai-time. Right now, China is ahead 13 hours, which means that we will arrive on Wednesday afternoon.

I have a million profound things to say -- about meeting Ailee and about going back to visit Maelyn's orphanage and foster home. But -- this Mama is very tired and needs to get to bed. Hopefully, I will have time to get those thoughts down once we arrive and have a bit of down time.

Next post from Shanghai! See you soon!

(Thank you to my wonderful friend, Lianne, who will be posting for me while be are away. You are the best!)

Marking off the last 'sleep' before our big trip!

This was the face I got when I asked her to smile... :)

Packed and ready to go!!

Busy, busy, busy...

I am happy to say that Maelyn's fever has broken and our little miss is on the mend! Phew!!

We originally had a few play dates set up for her this weekend and we were going to take her to daycare tomorrow -- but we decided to keep her home to make sure she gets some rest and doesn't catch any other germs before the big day.

Now that she is feeling better, though -- she is a whirlwind of activity! And it is very hard to pack with an energetic four year old hanging off your legs....

Things around here have been very, very busy!!

We installed Ailee's car seat in our new vehicle -- that made things feel very real!

We got our shots and took our Dukoral to make sure we stay healthy while we are away. Maelyn was an absolute trooper. She went into the doctor's office, rolled up her sleeves, and with tears in her eyes asked the doctor to give her a needle so that she could go and get her sister.

We have spent hours getting paperwork done and ready for travel.

We got festive and decorated the house for Christmas. The tree is up and ready for Santa (or, 'Ho Ho,' as Maelyn calls him). The presents are purchased and wrapped.

Moving the furniture to make room for the Christmas tree...

Such a strong girl...

Silly girl... :)

All the decorations ended up in one section of the tree...hehe!

We have packed, but still have some packing to finish tomorrow.

We cannot wait to be on the plane -- heading towards our Ailee and not even thinking about our to-do lists!!

Itinerary

Our journey begins in two days!! We cannot wait to meet our little monkey -- it is hard to believe that we will be holding her in our arms in one week! Soon, we will be a family of four. :)

We are going to China a few days early as we are heading back to Maelyn's province to visit her orphanage and foster home. On our first journey, we were not able to visit the orphanage because of flooding in the area. We are thrilled that we are going to be able to go back just over two years since Maelyn came into our family.

We are hoping to be able to get more information about Maelyn's life before she came to us -- any information we can piece together for her would be invaluable. For two and half years I have wondered about where Maelyn lived and have always felt drawn to the place where our daughter experience the first 21 months of her life.

The following is an outline of our itinerary --


Nov. 21 - Arrive in Shanghai at 4pm local time and head to hotel.

Nov. 22 - Take train from Shanghai to Shangrao (9am - 1:30pm).
              - Shopping for orphanage donations in the afternoon.

Nov. 23 - Visit the orphanage and foster family; have lunch with the orphanage staff.

Nov. 24 - Van ride to visit finding spot; have lunch in Wannian County.
              - 2 hour van ride to Nanchang airport; flight to Guangzhou, Guangdong.

Nov. 25 - Free day.

Nov. 26 - Forever Family Day -- we meet Ailee!!!

Nov. 27 - Registration and notarization of adoption (paperwork day).

Nov. 28 - Apply for Ailee's Chinese passport.

Nov. 29 - Sight-seeing.

Nov. 30 - Free day/Sight-seeing.

Dec. 1 - Fly to Beijing.

Dec. 2 - Paperwork for Canadian Visa.

Dec. 3 - Medical examination at International SOS Clinic.

Dec. 4 - Visit the Great Wall / Jade factory.

Dec. 5 - Hutong tour and visit the Drum Tower.

Dec. 6 - Shopping!!

Dec. 7 - Fly home!! (Beijing to Shanghai; 6 hour layover; Shanghai to Toronto -- arrive 6:25pm)