It's Official!

Our first night together went very, very well! Our little monkey slept so long that we eventually had to wake her up so that we were not late for the civil affairs appointment.

Paul put Yan Yan in the carrier and it seemed to help her to feel safe. We prepared her morning bottle and she finished it while we were being driving to the civil affairs office. We finally figured out that what Ailee really wanted was a larger hole in the nipple of the bottle and once we did that, she drank it like a champ!

At the civil affairs office, Paul and I had to go through a series of interviews, sign more paperwork, and promise to always care for Ailee as she grows up. Not a difficult promise to make! We then took our official family photo, necessary for the remainder of the paperwork. To take the pictures, we had to take a bottle of apple juice out of Yan Yan’s mouth, so she is screaming bloody murder in the photo – priceless!

Now, Ailee is officially our daughter!

We went back to the hotel and Maelyn was dying to play with Kyle in the hotel play room. My mom took the kids to play, which gave Paul and I some time alone with Ailee. At this point, we decided to change her clothes as we had no idea what size she truly was and some of the clothes she had on were very tight and making grooves in her skin. It looks like the 12 month clothes I brought will do – but she is truly in 18 month clothing.

I was able to connect with her a little, making faces and funny sounds, which made her both smile and laugh. She was sitting on Paul’s lap and would look up at him to confirm that this lady was truly funny and that it was okay to laugh. Precious!

By the afternoon, she even allowed me to hold her for a few minutes, as long as her Baba was within sight. But by the evening, it was all about Baba again. I am just so happy that she is feeling comfortable with one of us!

Enjoying her first yogourt

An afternoon nap with Baba

The four of us spent the afternoon together in the hotel. Maelyn, who normally is all about me, suddenly only wants her Daddy to pick her up and carry her – just like her sister. Sibling rivalry/jealousy perhaps?

At one point, we decided to go for a walk up and down the hallways and stretch our legs. It has been difficult to get outside to play at the parks because it has been raining consistently. Ailee wanted out so very badly that she freaked out when Paul moved her away from the door, just so that he could open it for her!

Yan Yan started off walking while holding on to one of Paul’s hands. But at one point, she pulled her hand away and toddled off on her own. Maelyn thought it was hilarious and she thinks her sister walks like a penguin, so they played ‘penguins’ for quite some time. Hehe! Ailee couldn’t be stopped – she just kept going up and down hallway after hallway. So cute!

After a massive dinner of pasta and tomato sauce (the girls ate our entire order!), we noticed that they were both getting very sleepy, so we changed Ailee into her pyjamas (which she wasn’t happy about), and I gave Maelyn a bath. When Maelyn was ready for bed, we came out into the living room area and found that both Ailee and Baba were asleep sitting up on the couch!

It was bedtime for everyone at this point – we were exhausted! The girls slept well all night, but they moved around all the time, which kept us awake. There were a few points in the night when we found Maelyn sleeping with her head on Ailee’s tummy and Ailee had her hand on Maleyn’s head. No matter how often we moved them apart, they drifted back together.

Life is good!!

Ailee!

As we weren’t to head to the civil affair office until 1:45 pm, the day started out calmly and quietly. We had a wonderful breakfast at the hotel and had to laugh at their system. There are many, many adoptive families staying in this hotel and at breakfast, they place all of us together in a back room – too funny!

We spent the rest of the morning preparing for Ailee’s arrival – getting the camera’s all set, putting out a few small toys for her, setting up her crib. We all started to feel nervous and excited that in a few short hours, Ailee would forever be a part of our family.

At 1:45 we met our guide and the other family we are travelling with in the lobby. Maelyn was so happy and excited to see Kyle. The two of them ran around the lobby giggling with happiness at being able to play together. We sorted through some necessary paperwork and then we got into the van and headed out to meet our daughters.

When we arrived at the civil affairs office, there were hardly any families there. I immediately recognized the room as we have seen video of other families’ Forever Family Days in the same room. We set our things down and almost immediately, the other family’s daughter was there and handed over to them. More and more families arrived and it was breathtaking to watch their families being created. We didn’t get to experience this with Maelyn’s adoption, as we were the only family there at the time.

Our guide told us that Ailee and the orphanage staff were stuck in traffic and that we would have to wait a little while longer. Sound familiar? We told her that as long as it wasn’t 18 hours, we would be fine. 

And then – she was there. My mom recognized her first, as I was talking to Maelyn. I looked up and knew immediately that that was our little girl. Her nanny handed her over to me and my heart felt at peace. Our family of four was finally together. Ailee, however, was not happy about leaving one of the nanny’s that loved and cared for her while she lived in the orphanage.

I grabbed the snacks I had brought with me and began feeding them to her and she was able to calm down. I noticed that she was pretty congested and made sure to feed her small amounts. At this point, the nanny that brought her to us told us that they call her ‘Yan Yan.’ She also told us that her palate was recently repaired! Paul and I couldn’t believe it! She will not face a major surgery when she gets home. Perhaps a slight lip revision, but nothing compared to the recovery of palate surgery. We were able to ask a few questions, but we are going to get the chance to visit the orphanage on Friday and will have more opportunities to ask questions, perhaps with a clearer head!

The palate being closed also explains her size. She is not tiny at all! Last time, I brought clothes that were too big. This time, I am pretty sure that the clothes I brought for Ailee are going to be too small. 

I handed Ailee to Paul so that he could have a chance to meet her and that is the last time I have been able to hold our little monkey. She is totally and completely stuck on Paul. Ailee has decided that he is going to be ‘her person.’ Honestly, I am happy for him. He never got to experience that intense bonding with Maelyn and constantly referred to himself as ‘the mule’ throughout the last adoption journey. This time, the roles have completely reversed!!

Once we were back at the hotel, Maelyn was spinning with excitement. She kept handing Yan Yan toys to play with. Ailee clung onto a plastic spoon and wouldn’t let go. Maelyn didn’t understand why she wouldn’t share the spoon, so she proceeded to write Ailee a note about why it is important to share and she put the note on her lap, after reading it aloud to her sister.

Maelyn has been a fantastic big sister! She got Ailee’s first smile (by putting a toy on her own head), and then even got her first giggle (by jumping on Mama’s back and making me fall over). Ailee refused to take a bottle from us, but had no problem taking the bottle from Maelyn. Maelyn was very pleased with herself and kept telling us that she is a good big sister. We have to agree!!

In the evening, we got Maelyn ready for bed and Yan Yan started to cry. We think she figured out that we would be going to sleep and she wasn’t too happy about it at all. She ended up falling asleep on Paul’s shoulder. He then tried to put her in the crib, but she panicked. Ailee ended up sleeping on Paul or right beside him for the rest of the night. When she would fuss, he would rub her back and she would settle right back down.

Our girls are together and we are a very grateful and happy family of four.

It's Ailee Day!

The day is finally here!! It’s Forever Family Day – yahoo!!!

Our clocks have finally switched and Maelyn slept from 7 – 7 last night – thank goodness!!

We have finished breakfast and now we are making last minute preparations for Ailee’s arrival.

We leave at 1:45 to go to the Civil Affairs office and meet Ailee very shortly after that. Cannot believe that the big day is here! Although, when Maelyn woke up this morning she said that she no longer wanted a little girl, but now wants a little boy. Jeesh!

My heart is most looking forward to seeing Maelyn and Ailee meet and become forever sisters. We can’t wait to snuggle her in our arms and comfort her when she is upset.

This will be a difficult day for Ailee. She is leaving the home and family that she knows and today her life will change forever. It is be a big and most likely difficult transition for her. Please keep her in your thoughts today.

We will post something as quickly as we can, depending on how little monkey (and the rest of us) are coping.

Another piece of the puzzle

(Please note, there is another blog post before this one.)

Saturday morning we were up bright and early (make that 1am – we haven’t yet been successful at switching Maelyn’s clock), to head to the town where Maelyn was found. Our goal was to be able to take a picture of her finding spot. What we ended up getting was much more than that.

The road to the town was very, very rural. We were driving over dirt roads that were not well maintained and very, very bumpy! We even drove through/around a few small mountains, driving on no more than a dirt path. It made for an interesting/nail biting drive! Paul and I love the adventure, so we were grinning the entire time. We passed through rural China and it was fascinating and breathtaking – the scenery and the villages were so very beautiful and interesting.

There are portions of our day and/or information that we received that is not appropriate to share in a blog setting. Most everything to do with where Maelyn was found is her story, not ours. When she is older, this is the portion of her story that she can share when she feels it is appropriate and with whomever she feels comfortable. However, there were many things we experienced that day that we can share.

We arrived at the small orphanage in the area and were met by the director and the staff. They ushered us inside and told us that they also had a file on Maelyn. I was shocked – I had no idea that they might have any information to share, as she was there less than 24 hours. As a family, we received the greatest gift – an original note that was left with Maelyn. They told us we could take a picture of it, but I begged them for the original, insisting that they note truly belonged to Maelyn. They agreed and took a photo of it for their own files.

We then drove out to Maelyn’s finding spot – which we learned was not in the location indicated in her paperwork.

We were then taken to a local restaurant where we were treated to yet another wonderful lunch. We had the greatest time!! They were soooo friendly and kept saying cheers and good blessings for us. One of the orphanage staff was the same age as Paul and they had a great time eating and drinking together – he kept telling Paul, ‘bottoms up’ in very broken English. It was a blast!

Towards the end of the lunch, the director presented Maelyn with a pearl necklace, welcoming her back to her home. They told her that she would always be a part of their community and in their hearts. It was very moving. They were such genuine people.

After taking pictures and exchanging emails, we got back into the van and headed towards Nanchang to catch our flight to Guangzhou.

It was a whirlwind homeland tour, but one that we won’t ever forget.

Orphanage and Foster Family Visit - Part 2

We left the foster family’s home and headed towards to the old orphanage building. About two years ago, the orphanage moved into a new building, but Maelyn never lived there. She spent the first few months of her life at the old orphanage, before moving to her foster parents’ home.

The room where Maelyn’s referral photo was taken…

We made our way back to the orphanage and we were told that we would have the chance to meet the little girl that Maelyn lived with while at the foster home. She no longer lives with the foster family. Because of the new orphanage building, they changed the way the foster system runs. The foster families now live in small apartments within the orphanage itself and care for 4 to 5 children at a time. For Maelyn’s foster family, moving into the orphanage was not an option, as their son and grandsons live with them.

After four years of living with the family, the orphanage moved Maelyn’s foster sister into the orphanage, about six months ago. Both parents and child were devastated. My heart simply broke for the little girl that has had to go through that. Without having even met her, I wanted to scoop her up and take her home. I just kept thinking that that could have so easily been Maelyn.

Maelyn didn’t seem to recognize her foster sister, but she did recognize Maelyn. We left after a few minutes of visiting with her, with a heavy heart.

We joined the director and many of the staff members for lunch. We were welcomed with dish after dish of wonderful food. They also showed us the banner that they had made for Maelyn and they gave it to her as a gift.

After lunch we headed back up the director’s office and we were given a chance to look through Maelyn’s file. We were really hoping to find new information – anything at all. Although, I was silently hoping and praying for a note from her first parents or the outfit she was found in. The piece of information that we did find was her baby footprint – so cute! The rest of the paperwork was simply the paperwork that we had to complete for her adoption.

The director offered to copy the file for us – what a gift!

Before we left on our adventure, quite a few families sent me picture updates of their Shangrao children to pass on to the orphanage and foster families. I gave the package to the director and the workers started shouting and yelling – they were so excited to see pictures of the children they helped care for. One worker ran to get the foster mothers of those in the pictures. It was a tremendous sight to see – the children were so loved and the staff genuinely enjoys receiving the updates.

We said many goodbyes and headed back to the hotel to rest and absorb the enormity of the day. We couldn’t believe our good fortune and we are so thankful for the information that we were able to find for Maelyn.

Orphanage & Foster Family Visit - Part 1

Today was the most powerful, intense, amazing, wonderful day. It was a day that we will always remember and one that has forever changed us.


Early in the morning we were picked up by our driver and we headed to the orphanage. The orphanage itself is a new building and one that Maelyn never lived in herself. But, the orphanage is where Maelyn’s information is still kept and many of the caregivers and even children are people that Maelyn would have known during the first two years of her life.

As we pulled up to the orphanage, we were greeted by a sign that welcomed Maelyn home. Then, the Director of the orphanage and many of the caregivers met us at the car. It was completely surreal. After years of researching and piecing together as much of Maelyn’s history as possible, we were finally here – in the place where we hoped to get answers to some of our questions and for Maelyn to connect with her orphanage family.

We were taken to the Director’s office. She was accompanied by a woman who seemed to be very happy to see Maelyn. She showed us a photo of Maelyn and confirmed what we had always believed – that the photo was taken on her last day at her foster parents home, just as she was saying her goodbyes to her China family. We were thrilled that they remembered Maelyn! The woman also went on to tell us that she was the one who brought Maelyn from where she was found to the orphanage. (For all of those Shangrao adoptive families reading this blog, she is responsible for bringing all of the ‘Wan’ children to the orphanage – such an important piece of the puzzle solved).

We then showed the Director and the lady the photos we had of Maelyn in China – and asked about the adults in the pictures. We were able to confirm that the man Maelyn has always called her ‘China Daddy,’ was in fact her foster father. We were thrilled! We also learned about the man who had accompanied her to Shanghai for her lip surgery – confirming so many names and places in Maelyn’s life.

We shared with them photos of Maelyn since she has been home with us and then we were told that our request to visit the foster family’s home (rarely allowed) had been arranged. We couldn’t believe it!! They told us that the foster family was eagerly awaiting our arrival and that we would be leaving right away.

We once again got into the van and then we headed into the countryside, where the foster family lives. Maelyn was getting very tired by this point because she had been up since midnight. I was hoping and praying that she would stay awake and engage with the foster family even just a little bit – but I knew that we wouldn’t force anything. She has been very clingy with me on this trip, so if we had to, we would just let her stay in our arms the entire time.

When we got there we ended up parking on the side of the road. Their house is up on a small hill and there wasn’t a driveway we could park in. As we got out of the van, the foster mother was there waiting for us. She was grinning from ear to ear and our guide began translating that the foster mother had a happy heart because we were here to visit. She tried to say hello to Maelyn, but Maelyn hid her head in my shoulder and wouldn’t budge.

We started walking up the walkway and then we were looking at the house. I was so, so happy to see the home. We had seen a few photos online of the home, but to see it in person was an entirely different experience – and I instantly felt at peace. I have had an intense need to know more about Maelyn’s past – for both our sakes. Being there, in person, was amazing.

I crouched down with Maelyn to tell her that this was where she had lived when she was little, but before I could even get the words out, she jumped out of my arms and yelled, “This is my home!” She ran right inside and started squealing and jumping up and down. Our little miss who was tired and acting shy came completely alive as soon as she saw her China home. I could see peace and contentment all over her face.

Everyone was giddy and happy that we were all together. Maelyn went right away to her ‘China Mama’ and sat down at the table with her, as though it was something she still did every day. I asked where the foster father was and the foster mother went to get him. When he came in the room, Maelyn screamed in joy and literally ran to him. The joy that was on both of their faces was impossible to miss and every single one of us in the room shed many tears.

I showed the foster mother photos from when Maelyn lived in China and she couldn’t believe that we had them. She had never been given any photos of Maelyn and a camera is a luxury they couldn’t afford. I gave them the photos and also updated photos of Maleyn in the two years since she has been home with us. They were very happy to be able to keep them.

The crib Maelyn slept in…

We spent the next hour and half talking, through our guide, and sharing stories and information. While we talked, the foster father used a big knife to carve sugar cane for all of us to eat. The foster mother shared a story about when Maelyn and her foster sister walked out of the house together and they couldn’t be found. The foster mom was crying and frantic, but they were finally found. She couldn’t believe how tenacious the girls were.

We were shocked when we found out that Maelyn lived with a foster sister for the entire time she spent with the family. We had assumed, through information we had found, that there were many children living in the home at once. But the family confirmed that it was just the two girls. The other little girl is eight months older than Maelyn and was apparently heartbroken when Maelyn left to come home to our family.

We were also introduced to their neighbours, who spent a lot of time at the home and they knew Maelyn well. The neighbour said that Maelyn was a very smart little girl and that they would marvel at watching how she solved problems and copied everything that everyone else did. Maelyn was obviously very loved not only by the foster family, but by the community as well.

The foster mother’s grandchildren. They live there and the oldest one remembers Maelyn.

We feel at peace because we now know for certain that Maelyn was very, very loved and she lived in a family setting for the first two years of her life. So many questions were answered and that in itself is such a gift.

When it was time to leave, Maelyn was very sad. We all shed tears as we hugged and promised to keep in touch. We walked away with love for this family that we had only met two hours before.

We will be back to visit. How could we not? Our family and hearts have grown and the experience was magical.

(There was more to our day – we went back to the orphanage and spent quite some there. Will update again about our experiences in the next two days, once we land in Guangzhou.)