December 29 - Today was the day.

Today was the day. We could all feel the energy; even the other families that have travelled with us. We were doing our best to keep things as calm and as normal as possible, to ensure Maelyn wasn’t feeling stressed the entire day.

Maelyn wasn’t as talkative this morning and seemed to be a little more introspective than normal. I keep sending positive and loving vibes her way, to help give her the strength for what was ahead. What an experience we were about to have, as a family.

It was about a two-hour bus ride from Shangrao to Wannian County, where Maelyn was found and where her birth family still lives. As we got closer, you could see the landscape change; more rice paddies, mountains, rural homes. We were getting closer to them and the nerves started to settle in.

We arrived at our hotel and checked in. I had been worried about the accommodations as there are not many hotel choices in the area, but in all, the hotel seemed just fine. The only issue we encountered is the amount of smoke; smoking is allowed in most public places and the more rural you go, the more smoking there is around us – and the hotel definitely doesn’t have a smoke-free room.

I was worried because Ailee woke up this morning and seemed to be coming down with a cold. What timing! I have been pushing her inhalers and lots of water, hoping to keep the worst of it at bay.

We had about an hour to settle in and rest before the family would arrive. Maelyn seemed agitated and didn’t want to be near anyone; she sat down by the window in the hallway to read quietly. We checked in on her, but let her be on her own. Eventually, she got up to play with the other kids again.

And then, it happened. The birth family was walking down the hotel hallway and there was Maelyn’s first mom, dad, and oldest sister. They walked up with big smiles on their faces and hugs for everyone. Our guides/interpreters helped us to greet one another and then we sat down in our hotel room together. This meeting was more formal; the parents discussed their decision to place Maelyn for adoption and how they did not have the money or means necessary to care for a baby with a cleft. They also discussed how difficult the decision was for them, with mom tearing up as she spoke.








Maelyn and her family kept smiling and grinning at one another; I have never seen Maelyn smile so much or so big in my entire life! Paul and I gave each other a smile, as we could see how happy our girl was to be meeting her other family. Mom kept stroking Maelyn’s face and holding her hands. It was as though she was trying to soak her in; see every feature of her child. Paul and I couldn’t stop commenting on how much she looked like her family; especially mom and her oldest sister! Maelyn sat on her big sister’s lap and we all talked. We talked about her cleft, the procedures she has gone through and what procedures she will go through as she gets older. We discussed life in Canada and answered any questions they had. At one point, dad went to get the other two sisters from school, as it was the end of the day. When he came back, everyone was happy to be together. Maelyn’s oldest sister then put a charm bracelet on Maelyn’s wrist, giving it to her as a gift.

Maelyn’s second oldest sister is very, very shy and had a hard time being in the room with everyone. We did our best to give her some space. Maelyn’s little sister is just like her – a little spitfire! Ailee came over to the room at this point, as she had stayed in Ella’s room playing, and asked Maelyn’s little sister to join them. They are only 7 months apart in age. She was happy to join, and they all started doing cartwheels and splits in the hallway. Then they started playing tag. Not that I was aware of any of this; Lori watched the kids playing so that Paul and I could concentrate on talking to her parents.

The family stayed for about three hours. Maelyn told us she was tired and ready for a break, so we hugged the family goodbye and told them that we couldn’t wait to see them the next day, as we would be visiting their home. We all breathed a sigh of relief that the first meeting was over and that all went well. Maelyn bounced off to play with her friends and we debriefed with ours.

I am happy that we have a few days together and didn’t feel the need to rush anything today. What an adventure tomorrow will be!

December 28 - Shangrao Orphanage

We arrived in Shangrao last night in the dark. Even so, we were able to see that Shangrao has gone through many changes over the past few years. It is incredible how quickly things are changing in China – both socially and in the appearance of our surroundings. When the government decides to build something new, it happens at top speed!

Our families couldn’t believe the difference; from looking like an area of the third-world, to new buildings and lights everywhere. The quint town we visited in the past is no longer. It now has accessible public transportation and restaurants everywhere. We were a little shocked at the difference in only six short years.

Our hotel was better than I had expected. It had two bedrooms, a living room and a kitchen. When we got here, however, the windows were open, and the heat was off. There wasn’t any heat in the hallways, either. It was absolutely freezing in the room. After a few adjustments, we were able to get the heat working in most of the rooms. I also expected it to be difficult to find food that we would be comfortable eating, as this area is known for its spicy food. While we definitely didn’t have the selection we enjoyed in Guangzhou, we were able to get by.

We boarded the bus to head to the Shangrao orphanage. The plan for the day was to support the other two families on the trip. We returned to the orphanage in 2012 and Maelyn’s foster family lived outside the orphanage, so her connections were not really within the building and with the people working in it. For Mark and Ella, however, the orphanage is where their foster families lived and where they spent the first two years of their lives.

When we pulled up to the orphanage, we were surprised to see that it looked a little different than we remembered. There was a short wall in the parking lot that wasn’t there before and the sign that normally welcomes families back to the orphanage was not lit. We then noticed that there seemed to be a lot of construction happening around the building. Our guide then told us that the orphanage was, in fact, being rebuilt and a lot of work was currently happening within the building. We were shocked, as the orphanage building was only eight years old, but it seems that the shift in caring for infants to caring for children with serious special needs, created a need to change the structure and layout of the building.

We were ushered into a room on the main floor that wasn’t under construction and there were fruits and bottles of water for all of us to have on numerous little tables. There were also the orphanage files for Maelyn, Mark, and Ella on the table, so that we could go through their documents. Mark’s foster mom no longer works at the orphanage, but she came to visit him for a short while. While they spent some time together, we looked through Maelyn and Ella’s files.

 We noticed that there were three banners around the room – one for each child, welcoming them home. The director of the orphanage also presented the kids with beautiful necklaces. The siblings were also included, which was very thoughtful of them.

We were then taken to the top floor, where some of the children live during the construction. Others are being cared for off-site. I took a picture or two, but didn’t feel comfortable taking pictures of the children, as I felt like I was invading their privacy. I also struggled with connecting with them, knowing that most of these children would never be placed for adoption, but spend their days in an institution-like setting. I sat back a little bit more than I expected I would.

 When done, we got on the bus and drove to the old orphanage. We also visited this location in 2012. It used to be a hotel but was turned into a make-shift orphanage for a year while the new building was under construction. Mark and Ella spent the first year of their lives at this location. It is now a storage warehouse. What struck us is at both locations is that there is absolutely no heat. The cold penetrates everywhere, which is why they bundle the kids up in so many layers. We take for granted that we are able to live comfortably in a home that has reliable heating.

 Then it was off for lunch with the orphanage officials. The room was huge, and the decorations were beautiful! When it was time to go, the kids all got photos with the director, gave hugs goodbye and were wished a happy and bright future.

When planning the trip, I knew that I wanted to incorporate touring that the kids would be able to relate to; school was one of them. These days, however, schools are closed to visitors. We had been told this a few months before travelling, so we were not expecting it at all when MaRui told us that she had a surprise for us – that we would be visiting a school in Shangrao! It turns out that the director’s daughter attends the school and she got us special permission to visit. We were all very excited about the idea, but none of us expected that it would turn out to be a highlight of the entire trip.

 When we arrived, the students were on a break and many of them were engaged in teacher-led exercises. The school yard was quite large; it has to be, as there are over 2000 students who attend this school! We were greeted by the principal of the school and a few other officials. Our kids were told that they were allowed to hand out the candy and souvenirs we had brought with us, which ended up being an amazing ice-breaker! Many, many of the students were excited to greet us and practise the basic English they have been learning in school. There were times when we were swarmed by kids; but the kids were always up for talking to us or taking selfies. We were given a tour of the school, where we could see a variety of classes taking place.

Our family was led downstairs to a Grade 1 classroom, where we were able to greet the students and where we met the director’s daughter. I could not believe how many students were in one classroom and how crowded the room was – a sharp contrast to my flexible seating, yoga-ball, bean-bag char classroom!

Everyone in the school was kind and welcoming. We couldn’t get over the attention we were receiving and being able to interact with the kids was a magical highlight for everyone in the group. Except for Ailee, who found the experience to be too noisy and overwhelming. Paul ended up carrying her so that she could hide her head and cover her ears. Maelyn, on the other hand, was happy to take selfies with the kids and said that she now knows what it feels like to be a celebrity.

 After the school visit, we dropped half of the group off at the hotel so that we could then visit with Maelyn’s foster family. Ailee decided to stay at the hotel so that she could play with Marissa. Ella and her family joined us for the visit.

It was wonderful to see Maelyn’s foster family again. They are such kind people and always welcome us with open arms. We shared some snacks and hot drinks and met her son and his wife, whom we did not meet in 2012. Unfortunately, we were not able to visit with her foster father, as he was called away for work. The beauty of 2018, however, is that we are now able to use technology to keep in touch in ways we couldn’t in the past. Everyone in China uses an app called WeChat to communicate and even video chat and we are able to connect to the family in this way. It is such a relief to be able to have that instant connection – so helpful!

After some snacks, we shared stories with one another – about Maelyn’s likes and dislikes and her foster mom shared some stories of her when she was little. Even the neighbours came out to visit, as they remember Maelyn from when she lived there.

Our visit was brief, but we were so grateful to spend some time together. When we return to China, we will definitely visit them again; they are family to us and an important part of Maelyn’s story.

 We were finally on our way back to the hotel after a long day. MaRui helped us all order some food to the rooms and the kids had time to play. It gave us time to debrief, as a group, and be able to spend some down-time together, which was really nice.

Tomorrow we leave for Wannian County and we will meet Maelyn’s birth family. I cannot put into words what I am feeling, as I am watching Maelyn and doing my best to be there for her as she needs me. When she fell asleep tonight, I couldn’t help but look at her sleeping peacefully and think that from today, her life will be different and how powerful that will be.

December 27 - Travel Day

Today was a travelling day. We packed up in Guilin and headed to the train station. This time, we were leaving from one of the oldest train stations in the area, so it wasn’t as accessible as the newer station. That meant a lot of hauling luggage up and down the stairs. Not easy with the amount we are lugging!

We worked together to take luggage from those who couldn’t carry the heavy ones and just kept going up and down until we had everyone’s in the right place. We had to do this about three different times!

When we got on the train, we realized that MaRui booked us first class seats and we couldn’t have ben happier! The seats were very comfortable with a ton of leg room. We also got drinks and snacks, which was helpful as we settled in for a six-hour train ride.

MaRui joined us as our guide in Guilin. I have known MaRui for many years, through our good friend, Lianne. She is a fabulous guide who runs who own tour company and who we have trusted with our China plans for our last two trips. This time, she decided to join us herself for part of the trip, which we were thrilled about! Especially with the importance of the upcoming orphanage visit and birth family meeting.

We were on a bullet train, which got up to speeds of just over three hundred kilometres per hour – it was fast! We all enjoyed the down time and the luxury of the ride. We also made a game of who could capture a picture of the highest train speed, without the others noticing. ☺

We made it to Shangrao – the city where Maelyn, Mark, and Ella’s orphanage is located. Once we checked into the hotel, we went for dinner. Ailee, however, had had it by that point and just wanted some space and down time. I brought her back up to our room and fed her some local fruit and seaweed. It was nice to have the quiet time together.

Tomorrow will be a very big day – orphanage visit, visiting Ella and Mark’s finding spots, lunch at the orphanage, going to visit a school in the area, and visiting Maelyn’s foster family. Big emotions ahead!