Oh my....



I have been avoiding this post -- needed to wait until I was in a more positive mood. I wanted to write with perspective and not with the cranky, sleep-deprived mood that I have been in for the past ten days. How could it only be ten days??!!

Let me start with the positives. First of all, Maelyn has been recovering very, very well from her surgery. It is amazing how well and how quickly kids heal. If it wasn't for her nose stent, you wouldn't even know that she had had surgery at all!

My parents have been very helpful over the past ten days -- couldn't have gotten through it without them.

I gained an appreciation for my child's overall health and feel deeply for those parents who deal with constant or difficult health issues with their children.

I appreciate the nights when I get sleep. Sleeping is good.

I am grateful that my husband is able to deal so well with Maelyn when she isn't feeling well -- his patience and love for our little miss is endless.

Now -- the hard stuff. The past ten days have been some of the longest days I have ever experienced. It feels like her surgery was a year ago. Poor Maelyn has been absolutely miserable and cranky -- nothing makes her happy. It has been crying, screaming, tantrums all day, every day.

Can you blame her? Her mouth, nose and ears are sore...she is forced to wear arm braces...she is getting four different kinds of medications up to four times a day...the girl who loves food is only able to have soft, mushy food. I understand why she is so cranky and frustrated -- I would be, too!

Unfortunately, this sleep-deprived Mama has found dealing with her moods terribly exhausting. It is unreal what a lack of sleep and stress will do to a body. I haven't been able to think straight, I felt impatient and helpless. The nights have been long -- very long.

I knew that the first few weeks following her surgery would be difficult, but you just can't prepare for the exhaustion and anxiety.

One morning Maelyn and I went for a walk with a friend and her son -- let's just say that the walk ended with Maelyn and I both crying, standing on the sidewalk. I had to call my Dad to come and pick us up -- we were defeated. My poor Dad took one look at us and told his work that he was taking the rest of the day off. Bless him.

Back to the positive stuff. We are finished with the medications and we have all adjusted to the arm restraints. We compromised and remove them while she is eating. We watch her very closely and it allows her a sense of control and independence that she so desperately desires. It has made meal times enjoyable once again. Sleeping is still an issue, but we are working on it and I have given in -- I am napping when she does. Just don't take a close look in my house -- the mess can wait, right??

The best part is that we are already seeing a marked improvement in Maelyn's speech. She is now able to make the 'b' and 'h' sounds -- amazing to hear!

Today was a good day. No, a great day! Maelyn was in a pleasant mood and it lasted the entire day! We were able to get out of the house and we even laughed -- a lot!

I will never take the ease and enjoyment of everyday parenting for granted again -- just remind me of this experience when I complain about being tired or stressed in the future, okay?