December 30 - Family Visit

How do I even begin to put this day into words? It doesn’t seem fitting to use mere words. It is an experience that is indescribable. What I can say, however, is that we are forever changed.

Ailee had a bit of a rough night last night. She has a cold that has settled into her chest and she was up coughing quite often. This morning I gave her inhalers and everything else I could to help her feel better. She was coughing so much and so hard that we had to decide what to do about our visit today. Luckily, Nancy came to the rescue. She offered to watch Ailee while Paul and I brought Maelyn to her family home for a visit. Maelyn was sad that Ailee couldn’t join us, but she did ask Ella and her family to come instead – so that she had someone in her corner, she said.

We had asked the police officer who helped our searcher locate Maelyn’s family in their village to join us for lunch. He couldn’t make it to lunch, but we came downstairs in the hotel lobby to four police officers and their cars, there to escort us to the family home. We were also surprised to see Maelyn’s mom in the lobby, waiting for us. She had come to help direct us to her home. Another surprise was that Maelyn’s grandma was also there; we gave her a big hug and she was very happy to see all of us. She was very kind!

Maelyn joined her mom, grandma and Paul in one car, while Ella, her family and I went in another car. The police officer told us about the 800-year history of the area as we were making our way to the village. The village will soon to turned into a water reservoir and the families in the valley will be moving to new homes closer to town. The scenery was incredible and I felt like we were going back in time, due to the age of the buildings around us, the mountains and the vegetation.

Our first stop was at the office of the village official, where he welcomed Maelyn home and gave her a small gift. At this point, mom and grandma had decided that Maelyn wasn’t warm enough (a very typical concern in China, as these families do not have heat in their homes and are always combatting the cold). Grandma got into the van and took off one layer of pants and put them on Maelyn. Mom gave Maelyn one of her coats. They were then satisfied that Maelyn was sufficiently bundled. I had warned Maelyn that this may happen, so she was prepared and just rolled with it. 

We arrived at the home and pulled up beside the creek where the family does their laundry. We walked towards the front courtyard of the house and the villagers came out to greet us. This was the first time any Westerner had ever visited the remote village. It was quite a scene! Then, Maelyn’s father asked us to stay there while he set off firecrackers in the courtyard. The firecrackers were set off to welcome their daughter home and to announce the importance of the event to the village. I can barely write that sentence without feeling the intense emotions of that moment. The idea that they were welcoming her home brought me intense joy and also released a flood of tears. I couldn’t help it; I was so happy for our girl. I turned to Paul and became a sobbing mess. I could barely catch my breath. Maelyn’s mom came over and hugged me and we both cried together. It was a moment I will never, ever forget.

Once we all composed ourselves, we were ushered into the main living area of their home and we were presented with snacks, treats, and warm drinks. The villagers all came through the doors and joined us! The were overflowing into the courtyard. They all had kind things to say about how healthy and happy Maelyn looked and about how hard Paul and I must have done to raise her well. It was very touching and we could see that Maelyn’s parents were very proud of their daughter and in welcoming us to their home.

The villagers all carried these wooden pails that they had warm ashes in; they act as a hand-warmer. They would hold the warmers as a method of keeping warm while outside. It was unbelievable; these ancient looking hand-warmers, in a home that looked like it was build no later than the 1800’s and then everyone with their apple iPhones; so interesting.

Maelyn’s family presented her with more jewellery and her sisters put the necklaces and bracelets on her. They presented our family with red envelopes and gifts for Ailee. We had gifts for them, as well. After we spent some time eating, taking pictures of the home and family members, villagers and then handing out some Canadian-themed gifts and trinkets to everyone, we went out front to take family pictures. When we were done, firecrackers were once again set off in celebration of the occasion.

The police officers then drove us to the construction site of the new family home that is being built for them. They were proud to show us around and tell us that in this home, they will have running water and electricity. Paul and I just looked at each other and it drove home yet again how fortunate we are. 

 

It was then time for lunch and a big celebration. The police officers said their goodbyes and we thanked them for their help. At lunch we met Maelyn’s uncle, aunt and two younger cousins. The girls were so cute! The doctor that delivered Maelyn also joined us, as did the rest of our travel group. There were about 25 people at lunch! Poor Nancy stayed back with Ailee at the hotel, as Ailee wasn’t well enough to be out and needed to rest.

At lunch, there was a lot to celebrate. Maelyn’s parents went around to every person individually and thanked them by giving a cheers to each person and their role in their daughter’s life. It was very touching. The dads also had a good time finding many excuses to cheers and enjoy some Chinese beer together. They are quite similar and both dads had a ready smile for each other and enjoyed spending some more relaxed time together.

Maelyn sat with her first family and Paul and I chose to deliberately sit at the other side of the table. We wanted to give them some space to just be together. Maelyn was treated like a princess; she didn’t feed herself once at lunch. Her big sister or mama fed her every single bite. She was cared for more than any child her age would normally be, but I felt like her mom deserved the time to mother the daughter she had missed being able to mother for ten years. Maelyn never stopped smiling and we could tell she was feeling very cared for by her family. Paul and I kept joking together that she would have a rude awakening when she had to start feeding herself again! J

Once lunch was finished, it was actually late afternoon and it had been a long day. We needed to get back and check on Ailee and we all needed a break, mentally. Maelyn’s uncle invited us to dinner at his home; we thanked him, but told him we were very tired and needed to check on our other daughter. We asked the entire family to join us the next morning for breakfast at our hotel. We were not ready to say goodbye to this amazing and very loving family.

That afternoon her family video chatted with us; they were out shopping for the girls and wanted to know their sizes. It was important to them to cloth Maelyn. It was difficult for us to say yes, as we know that money is a constant struggle for the family, but they deserved the chance to care for their child, so we relented and showed our appreciation. They showed the girls different jackets and other clothing over the video chat and the girls nodded their heads yes or no if they liked the items. Paul and I just shook our heads, laughing.

We are so blessed that Maelyn’s family is one of the kindest we have ever met. We feel very connected to them and we all love each other very much. We share our daughter with one another, which is a very unique and special experience. One that has changed us forever.  

I was missing Ailee and happy to be able to snuggle with her when she wasn’t feeling well. Maelyn, at first, was quiet and wanted some time to read. After a short time, she joined the girls and played with them for the rest of the evening. The uncle and aunt continued to ask us over WeChat to join them for dinner, but we had to decline again. Ailee just wasn’t well enough.

Just before we were getting ready for bed, Maelyn’s uncle and two of his teenage nieces from his wife’s side of the family showed up at our hotel room door. We were very surprised and wondered what was going on. The uncle had brought bags and bags of gifts for Maelyn and Ailee. We were shocked beyond belief at how generous the family was being with us. Maelyn was over the moon with her uncle and his kindness. He introduced his nieces to us, who were excited to meet family from Canada and to practice their English with us. Her uncle can also speak a little English and has vowed to study hard to learn English more, now that his niece speaks English. It was very touching.

He also brought snacks that were a specialty of the area for the group to share and then told us that he had gotten every person in the group a pearl bracelet, to help remember the momentous occasion. We were floored, once again, by his generosity. Maelyn and her uncle went to the room of each travel member and passed out the bracelets. Everyone was very thankful. We then spent a short time visiting with the uncle and his nieces and then he said it was time for us to rest. When leaving, he gave Paul a very genuine embrace and told him, through tears, how grateful he was that we were taking such good care of his niece and how happy he was to know us. It was very touching and another example of the kindness of this family.

Paul and I are blown away by this experience. It has been difficult to put into words. It has brought us closer together as a couple and as a family. We are very blessed.